Having grace
“The closer people are to the truth, the more tolerant they are to the mistakes of others.” - Tolstoy
Perhaps this is a quote that we like because it makes us feel better when we have done something bad. I suppose it is worth examining. Why exactly would truth make us more tolerant of others?
From a Christian perspective the Truth of God’s grace would make it easier to forgive other's trespasses as He forgives ours. The example of Christ to turn the other cheek should help with that as well. But surely this isn’t only true for believers? And we could certainly find exceptions to the rule. In fact, it seems like the more entrenched one is in a group, be it religious or not, the more likely they are to enforce the social norms of that group and the less likely they are to tolerate behaviour that falls outside of those norms.
Could an absurdist approach explain this aphorism? Maybe the more we see the “truth” that none of this is ultimately that important anyway so there is no need or purpose to lambast someone for their slip-ups. It would be an embarrassing waste of time and energy to try and bring someone down for a sin whose consequences will be felt for a relative moment. What good would there be in adding to the already unnecessary suffering?
But I don’t think that covers it either. I believe our actions and their consequences do matter and it makes sociological sense for someone to be incentivized to highlight the mistakes of others to maintain safety and purity of the group and to teach others what not to do. We don’t “tolerate” people’s mistakes because we are afraid that they will affect us negatively, and guess what? Sometimes they do. Sometimes one person’s mistakes can devastate millions of people. Think of mass shooters or terrorist attacks or one leader’s decision to send his young men to die in an unjust war. Mistakes come with high price tags sometimes. So why should we tolerate them? And why would the truth allow us to?
Perhaps not all mistakes should be tolerated but the idea of making mistakes is so human, so deeply and universally human that our condemnation of others is inevitably going to find its way back to ourselves. Judging others for their mistakes is like posing our own well. The truth is that we are all awful some times and none of us are in a position of sufficient virtue and innocence to cruelly judge the actions of others. To err is human right? Alexander Pope continued that “to forgive is divine.”
Perhaps tolerating the mistakes of others is not just a sign but the path towards transcending our vulgar humanity and realizing our divine potential. And maybe that’ the truth.