The benefits of privacy
"Anonymity is like a rare earth metal. In larger doses these heavy metals are some of the most toxic substances known to a life. They kill. Yet these elements are also necessary in keeping a cell alive.”
Kevin Kelly
In our hyper connected modern reality we can share, access and track almost every aspect of our lives in order to make our experience more efficient and hypothetically more enjoyable. Spotify knows what you want to listen to. Youtube knows what you want to watch, etc. But there is a specific cost to becoming connected virtually to the rest of the world in the form of our ever decreasing ability to be private citizens.
As technology advances corporations and governments will know where we’re driving, how often we shave, and how long it takes us to consume a gallon of milk. There are and will be all sorts of conveniences that could potentially save us time and money. But they also keep us from ever having privacy either. We are becoming acclimatized to being surveilled at all times. So many of us are looking to become influencers or online personalities now that the internet has made it so cheap to create and publish content. It’s like they become miniature celebrities or at least celebrities in embryo and with it comes the proportional forfeiture of privacy. The difference being that most of us aren’t rich enough to escape to an exotic island to enjoy anonymity for a moment AND our fame or infamy is recorded in the annals of the internet forever.
The attention hungry youngster trying to make a name for themselves with objectionable shock humour might one day regret it when they are 40 and applying to the accounting firm. The internet is becoming the book of life by which all of us will be judged and all of us, eventually will fall short of the glory of God.
The only way to save ourselves from the endless scorn of anonymous haters online who know all the worse things about us is to either a) stop everyone from being so judgmental (let’s not hold our breath), b) live perfect lives (also not likely) or c) carve out a life in the real world in which we can be relatively anonymous and kept away from the infinite loop of the trolls and goblins who gain pleasure from our demise.
A study out of Poland demonstrated a link between psychopathy and online haters. They think they are the virtuous calling for justice against those who have sinned against humanity but in fact those who participate in online dogpiles and hateful comments are much more likely to do it because they have a personality type that likes having an excuse to watch and cause the suffering of someone else. They score high in psychopathy and envy and on the internet they are set free to find your skeletons to make you look and feel worse.
When online gets tough, and it will, you will benefit from having a sanctuary of privacy and anonymity. This is becoming harder and harder to obtain. You can move to a new city and your online footprint will follow you. Ideally you could have a place in nature where you unplug and reconnect yourself with the Earth. You might even consider the unthinkable and leave your phone at home.
Sometimes the medicine you need most is to be anonymous and private for a little while. Forget about getting more views or website traffic and focus on finding your place of peace and quiet.
This is part of my preparations for an upcoming book about learning how to survive and even flourish after public disgrace or “cancellation”. If you know of someone who has been the target of online bullying, or someone who has made a mistake that cost them their public reputation, or someone who you believe was unfairly judged or “cancelled” please share this with them. I will also be looking for subjects to interview. Everything will be kept confidential.